PHOTOGRAPH QUESTIONS EXTINCTION OF BIBLE-TOTING SPECIES

RARE SIGHTING NEAR OHIO CHURCH

by J. Elmer Dinwiddie, February 2005

Eerily reminiscent of the famous 1967 Bigfoot picture, a blurred figure carrying a Bible was recently caught on film in a church parking lot in Ohio. Anthropologists are hopeful that this proves that the supposedly extinct species has survived the Church Growth Movement and will soon repopulate the Midwest.

The scientific community was rocked this month when new photographic evidence was presented which appears to confirm the existence of a hominid species long considered extinct by most experts: the elusive Bible-carrying churchgoer. The photograph, taken by Clem Pilsner, is the first known sighting of the creature in twenty years which anthropologists have officially named "Homo biblia sacra" or "Suburban Bible Man." If the photo is authentic, it would be the first verification of the existence of this Bible-toting species since the beginning of the Church Growth era.

Pilsner, a window washer from Ripley, Ohio, took the photo on Sunday morning, January 16th, with his new Sprint picture phone. "I was driving my truck to get another six-pack before the (football) game when something caught my eye," he told The Sacred Sandwich in an exclusive interview. "At first glance it was just a dark figure walking across First Church's parking lot. But when I seen it carrying a Bible, I about dropped my breakfast burrito." Fortunately, Pilsner was able to take a quick snapshot with his cell phone before the creature disappeared into the church building. "I'm just thankful my horrified screams didn't shake the camera too much," he added.......
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I am laughing out loud as I type this. This comes from a humor page called The Sacred Sandwich and really cuts to the heart of the matter. The more I do powerpoints, the less people bring their bibles to church. Their bibles seem to be so holy that they cannot bear to write notes in them or highlight passages that speak to them. I hope that this trend reverses itself in the near future. Still, this spoof is pretty funny. Thanks to Aaron Siver for emailing me this.